SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Damn victory sex feels great
as a side note pls kill me
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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