your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
