She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
