Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
