my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
