I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
