i think i have herpe
just one?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
