after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
