Come see our sink grown plant.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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