Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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