those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
