awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize