I bet he comes in French.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
