One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
