Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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