you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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