I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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