Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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