I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
