There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
