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I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Drake has all the answers
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
