I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
