Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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