I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
