Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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