so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
