A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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