Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
