one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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