This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize