You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
