he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
