i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She bit a glass in half.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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