I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
