My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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