; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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