Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
