just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
