I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
