It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
