i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
