after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
