Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
