census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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