so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
