Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize