its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
