so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
