Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
