You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
