I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
