he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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