you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
