well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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