Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize
