just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Im part way to drunk.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
