I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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