My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
