Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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